Krissy Dieruf

Today is the fifth anniversary of our little boy, Ciaran, who I carried for almost 4 months before his heart stopped beating. I can’t believe it has been that long already. The night we went into the hospital and delivered his tiny unbreathing body, there was an ending, and a beginning, and everything in between. It is fitting then, on this day, that I honor him by sharing with you a little book I wrote. It’s called " A Unicorn's Mother " and it is written for my sweet boy, b ut also for all of the incredible women who also know the brutal truth of miscarriage; who have had to say goodbye to a child unborn and unseen, whom you desperately loved and wanted. And it’s a special nod to all the remarkable mama’s who wrote to me, who shared their own stories of their own little unicorn’s when I felt all alone. No one wants to say “Welcome to the club,” but here we are. I love you all.

My recent mantra. My deep breath prayer. Keep going friends. There is no perfection, just waking up and facing the mountain. Even when you think you can't, you can. You don't have to be the change , you don't have to be the best, you don't have to have a cause, march for peace, give blood, or save the world. You don't have to be anything but exactly what you are right now. “Do not think that love in order to be genuine has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired." ~ St. Mother Theresa

Don't regret a thing. Take what you have been given from the good and the bad of the last year, hold it, look at it, turn it over again and again until you know it's shape. Breathe in and breathe out, and then blow it all away like a dandelion in the breeze. You don't need it anymore. You have everything you need already inside of you. Abandon the "shoulds" that breed guilt and embrace the moments full of learning and humbling. Reach out when your impulse is to pull in. Hang on when your exhaustion tells you to give up. Let go of empty attachments and learn to be more content with less. I've heard that someday these will be the good old days. But they already are. Happy New year.

Moms are the heart and souls of our families. They do a million things and more. They are real superheroes. My mom did so much for me growing up and still does. But what she did for me that is probably more powerful than any one single thing is the internal voice she sewed deep inside of me that continues to replay in my mind every single day. It started as her voice but has become my own and it is my super power. She planted within me over the years a true sense of confidence and helped me to grow a strong sense of self all with her amazing words. This is what she said: 1.        You are beautiful – She said this mostly when I did something kind, made good decisions, showed independence and strength of character. Also, when I was sweaty, dirty, messy, and working hard. She taught me that beauty lies truly inside of me, and in my positive actions, not my appearance. 2.        You will be a great mom – I remember hearing this throughout my life. It wasn’t like she was priming me

5 Phrases to Diffuse Anger in Children  is an article I wrote for MOPS magazine, Hello Dearest . It was my first article ever to be published in print.

Four Boundaries to Help Children Cultivate a Sense of Wonder  is an article originally published by MOPS magazine Hello Dearest.